I had kids before all my friends, and here is what I learned
I was very young when I had my first child. 21 to be exact. 20 when I found out. While most girls at 21 are excited to be of drinking age, I turned 21 while pregnant in Las Vegas. Through all of my pregnancies I have learned different things about life, friends, family etc. My first one was the hardest though. Read below to see how each pregnancy was another lesson learned.
I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was terrified. I called my mom and asked her to go buy me a pregnancy test. I had been with my now husband for only 3 months. We had recently said we loved each other and he was my first real boyfriend. I took the pregnancy test and it said “positive”. I broke down. I cried and called both of my best friends as every 20 year old girl does when something major happens. When they answered the phone, they will both tell you that they thought someone had died from how bad I was sobbing. Being 20 I had no idea what I was going to do. I knew had to talk to Jake, tell him and go from there. That was all I knew. Also, to give you some more insight to my state of mind…I had recently had lunch with girlfriends a couple weeks prior and had said “I’m never having kids!” HAHA!!!
This is when I learned that God has a sense of humor.
I took the test around 12:30pm and Jake did not get out of work until 9! Oh the agony. I sent him a text saying, “I’m coming over after you get out of work. We need to talk.” Later on he told me he thought I was going to break up with him! The dreaded “‘we need to talk”
When I told Jake I was pregnant, his reaction was completely different from mine. He was so calm. He knew I had been upset the whole day and he just held me and told me all the right things. He told me that he would never want to have kids with anyone else, and that our kids would be perfect. For the first time the whole day…I was excited about my future. Not scared, not upset but so excited!
This is when I learned that I was with “The One”.
Throughout my pregnancy, I really found who my true friends were. The ones who would be with me forever. They were the ones who I used to talk to every night on the phone for hours and now I only talked to every couple days because I was exhausted, but they still understood. They were the ones who even though they just turned 21 would go have dinner with me before they went out just so I could still feel a part of the party! It is very hard to be the only one pregnant at 21. Your life is taking a totally different, unexpected turn and your friends can’t connect with what you are going through. Think about it. What were you doing at 21? Who wants a boring pregnant girl around? It was at this time that I became very close with my mother. She was the only one I could talk to about what was happening in my life and she could relate.
That is when I learned that mom’s are a permanent best friend.
After I had my first son, it was a long lonely road for a while. Yes, I had the baby so I wasn’t pregnant…but I had a baby permanently attached to my hip! Good luck going anywhere without him! I will never forget, one time we planned a trip to the river. My mother watched the baby and then all my drunk friends came back to the apartment we lived at. Everyone was drinking and having a good time and I was in the back room trying to rock a fussy baby to sleep. No one was checking on me, no one offered to help, no one understood that my poor little baby needed some quiet for just long enough to fall asleep.
This is when I realized just how young we were to be having kids, and also how much my life had changed.
My husband became my husband a year and half after we had our first child. Then after another year of marriage we decided to start trying for another baby. I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. We tried again after a couple months and then got pregnant with our daughter. I happened to be pregnant at the same time as one of my best friends. This was fun! Someone I could share this with! This pregnancy was very different! I took pictures all the time. I had a friend to share morning sickness with and instead of crying when I found out, I was jumping for joy. It was a night and day difference from my first pregnany.
This is when I learned…planned pregnancies are AWESOME. 🙂
With my last pregnancy, which was a surprise just like my first, haha, I was pregnant with another friend. I had a baby sprinkle instead of a shower, and I was more tired than I could have ever imagined. I also loved my preggo pants more than anything in the world. I had friends popping up out of nowhere that hadn’t talked to me in years that were congratulating me and wanting to have play dates! It was awesome! I didn’t have baby fever until about a month before my little one arrived. Once I had him though, I was in love instantly.
This was when I learned that I had completed my family.
I also learned that my friends who I had lost touch with, were still my friends, but now could relate to me again. I had to have some grace to let some of these people back in my life.
I learned a lot over the last couple years, more than I can fit in one post but the biggest thing I have learned is that friends come and go through different chapters of your life. There are a select few though that seem to be in every chapter and those are the ones who are family. Keep close to the ones who understand that when you don’t answer every phone call, maybe it’s because you were sneaking in a nap! Or if you can’t make it to a party or event, that there will be another one. Through the years I have learned to just live in the moment. Don’t let little things bother you and be prepared for your life to change the second you get pregnant. It all works out in the end.